Yet another in a series:

 
Have
New
Monitor
Cannot
Leave
Desk

 
What is it with you people and the Google queries for "the hairiest women in the world"??? Go away, you frickin' pervs! Go play bushmaster somewhere else!

Sheesh.

 
I just watched a Robin Williams special on HBO. I found myself laughing at a few points, but in general, I was wishing someone would sneak him some coke to liven him up.

The bits at which I laughed were suspect, when I read the MP3Gain page and well-nigh laughed out loud at the corny jokes.

I am coming to believe RW was funny because I wanted him to be funny, because he was funny a hundred years ago, before he made sappy movies that are to funny as Jean-Claude Van Damme movies are to martial arts -- brief interruptions of activity in ninety minutes of banality. It's like dating a gorgeous, but dumb, girl -- you want to see her naked, you don't want to listen to her talk for two hours. Oh!

 
Mumble mumble Java Speech API mumble mumble sucks mumble mumble vectorising speech mumble mumble pain in the mumble.

 
Busy day, what with the Superbowl and all. Referrers from today:

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=picture+of+stampeding+cats
http://www.google.com/search?q=My+Personal+Naked+Pictures+-shemale&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&safe=off&start=90&sa=N
http://www.google.ca/search?q=CyberPounce+crack&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en&meta=


 
Bubble Lard

I have finally found a half-way tolerable grocery store in DC. Not a great one, but it's better than a stab in the eye with a carrot stick. It's the Whole Foods in Bethesda, out River Road, not too far from DC.

In the same vein as the pootie scale mentioned last night, I have created the Larry's scale for grocery stores, normalised on the Oak Tree Larry's in Seattle. Whole Foods on Sacramento or California or whatever in SF is 50 millilarry's. Tower Market in SF, near Twin Peaks, is about 80 millilarry's. Whole Foods in Tenleytown in DC is about 60 millilarry's, only because of their cheese selection. Giant Foods in the DC area are all around 30-40 millilarry's. D'Agostino's in NYC run around 800 microlarry's.

The Whole Foods discovered today was about 100 millilarry's. Kat and I both agreed on this figure, and have decided that it is the best grocery store we've found so far in the DC area.

This, more than any other reason, is why Goose is a crackhead, in my arrogant opinion. Small towns and bad locations do matter, because I can't get the food I like in most towns. Heck, I can't get produce at the hypersupermegamarts here like I can in a mom&pop corner store in Seattle. I was laughing today because all of the produce in Whole Foods had "California Grown" stickers.

What I want is a place like SF, in terms of population and weather, with the food of Seattle. I can't get that in the Appalachians.

 
The newly-shorn karl was telling me about his new 6.1 speaker kit for his PC, and I happened to see this. At first I was appalled, and wanted to know someone who bought one, so I could be pretentiously but casually mortified in their presence. Then, I realised that I would have drooled over this when I was 16, when I was saving for a pathetic Juno to tie to my Atari ST. So I acted appalled at myself, and all was good in the world.

By the way, for those of you not on the secret-linuxnet-channel, you can see Karl Asha's nut in that picture. I'm doing this merely to embarrass my half brother when someone googles for him.

Yup, I'm recycling old links. First, I linked it to embarrass Nat, and now I'm doing it to embarrass karl, or at least his nut. But hey, I'm helping their page rank!

Man, I should be going to bed.

 
I just watched Pootie Tang, because the premise seemed silly, and I had narrowly missed seeing it several times on TV.

Good lord. I'm really trying to figure out if it's this brilliant accidentally, or by design.

I'm totally serious. It's as if the entire body of Dada was distilled into seventy minutes and sprayed through three electron guns at my head.

Of course, everyone else I talked to thought it sucked, but I suspect you have to suspend more than the typical amount of disbelief to enjoy the movie. I'm good at that. :-)

In fact, I hereby declare the Coleridge scale for suspension of disbelief, measured in units called "pooties". Tora! Tora! Tora! might register only about ninety micropooties, whereas movies such as Moulin Rouge! and Fight Club require as much as two hundred millipooties. David Lynch is capable of producing films consistently measuring in the multiple pooties.

I'll probably be cursed with analysing the pootosity of any film I see for the next year. "Oh, Daredevil was foul...Ben Affleck forced it into megapootie range, well above my limits of credulity!"

Searched the web for pootie tang brilliant. Results 1 - 10 of about 287. Search took 0.23 seconds.

Sigh.

 
It's a day of tolerance.

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Thanks, Dell.com, that makes it so much clearer why you can't show me my order status!

 
Most despised profession: The rat bastage who puts the "Security Device Enclosed" stickers on the opening edges of DVDs and CDs.

I hope he's the first guy to lose his job when the recording and movie industries collapse.